Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
