Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
