I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
