haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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