So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize
