Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
