Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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