Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
