But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
They took my balls.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
