Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
