watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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