I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
