it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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