What did we do last night that was yellow?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I'm too high and old for this...
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
