i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
