Kiss
Puke
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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