you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
