This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
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