should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
