So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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