I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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