Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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