Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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