just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
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