I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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