I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
