and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
