i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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