another moral hangover. fuck.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
