is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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