The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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