Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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