He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
