hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I wish my penis had an off switch
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
It was confusing and full of hummus
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
