If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize