As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
