just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
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