if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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