I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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