Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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