I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
