no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Randomize
