We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Randomize
