Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
