# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
