my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
