No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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