we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Randomize
