So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize