Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
