i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
