Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
