I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
