when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
smell my finger.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
