Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize