I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
