He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
