I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
