the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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