The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
