I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Randomize
