I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Randomize
