i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize