No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
