Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Randomize