I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
