Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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