I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
