So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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