I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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