So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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