I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
