real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize
